Inclusion Is Not an Add-On: Supporting LGBTQ+, Neurodivergent and Disabled Clients Through Divorce & Separation

As both a Divorce & Separation Coach and a therapist-in-training, I believe support should meet people where they are; not just in terms of the stage they’re at in the divorce process, but in terms of who they are and how they move through the world.

That means making space for the complexity of every client’s identity. And within celebrating Pride Month, I want to share more about what an inclusive practice means to me at DC²: one that welcomes and affirms LGBTQ+ individuals, neurodivergent people, and disabled clients from all walks of life. This is a practice grounded in empathy, accessibility, curiosity, and a firm stand against ableism in all its forms.

Image credit: Stonewall UK - https://www.stonewall.org.uk/young-futures/disabled-and-neurodivergent-lgbtq-support

Divorce Can Be Complicated (Even More So When You're Marginalised)

Divorce is rarely easy, but when someone also belongs to a marginalised community (whether they’re LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, disabled, or living at the intersections of all three) it can bring added layers of difficulty:

• Feeling judged, misunderstood, or patronised by professionals

• Facing legal systems that weren’t designed with their needs in mind

• Struggling to access support that feels emotionally and physically safe

• Experiencing increased mental health distress during or after separation

  
  

In my practice, I take these realities seriously and strive to create a safe space, where clients don’t have to explain or justify their identities, needs or limitations.

For LGBTQ+ Clients: Affirming the Full Spectrum of Identity

LGBTQ+ individuals often face unique barriers in separation and co-parenting. For some, divorce means not just ending a relationship but also re-engaging with systems that assume heterosexuality, erase queer family structures, or don’t account for chosen families.

Some UK statistics help paint the picture:

• In 2021, 1,571 same-sex couples divorced in England and Wales—a 36% increase from the previous year

• LGBTQ+ individuals are nearly twice as likely to experience anxiety or depression

• Over 10% of LGBTQ+ people have avoided accessing support services due to fear of discrimination (Stonewall, 2022)

  
  

No one should have to worry whether their coach or therapist will understand or accept them. Affirming support begins with deep listening, a willingness to learn, and ongoing reflection on one’s own biases or blind spots - a genuine commitment to doing better, not just saying the right things.

Image credit: https://www.queerdivorceclub.com/

For Neurodivergent Clients: Reframing What Support Looks Like

Neurodivergence isn’t a niche. It’s a meaningful lens through which to understand relationship dynamics, conflict, emotional regulation, and how people process change.

Whether someone is formally diagnosed or self-identifies as neurodivergent, their sensory profile, communication style, executive functioning, and cognitive processing shape how they experience separation.

I draw inspiration from neurodivergence-affirming frameworks and work collaboratively with clients to adapt my approach. Some examples include:

• Offering multiple formats of communication and session recaps

• Allowing extra time and space for processing complex emotional material

• Using visual frameworks, timelines, or step-by-step breakdowns when helpful

• Honouring stimming, movement, silence, or rest as valid forms of emotional regulation

  
  

According to some estimates, around 15–20% of the UK population is neurodivergent. Despite this, most systems (including legal and therapeutic ones) are still built for neurotypical people. My intention is to challenge this gently by making accessibility and flexibility a core part of how I work.

Image credit: https://equity.ucla.edu/initiatives/lgbtq-campus-resource-center-trans-ucla-a-comprehensive-resource/

For Disabled Clients: Challenging Ableism in Divorce Support

Disability can affect every aspect of a person’s experience of separation: from how accessible courtrooms and mediation services are, to how others perceive their capacity as a parent, partner, or decision-maker. Sadly, many disabled people experience not just inaccessibility, but outright discrimination during divorce processes.

Ableism (whether overt or subtle) shows up when systems assume everyone has the same physical, cognitive, or emotional capacities. It shows up in expectations around productivity, communication, co-parenting, and emotional regulation.

At DC², I actively challenge these assumptions. That includes:

• Offering remote sessions with flexibility around energy levels, health conditions, or flare-ups

• Valuing different communication methods (verbal, non-verbal, written)

• Working at a pace that respects chronic illness, pain, or fatigue

• Recognising and respecting self-identification and the social model of disability

  
  

Accessible, inclusive support shouldn’t be an afterthought, but the starting point.

A Trauma-Informed, Person-Centred Practice

Inclusivity isn’t about having the right policies; it’s about how I show up. I approach each client as the expert in their own life, and I try to stay aware of how trauma, identity, and systemic barriers might be affecting their sense of safety and capacity for change.

My ongoing training in person-centred and psychodynamic therapy allows me to hold space for contradiction, grief, anger, and uncertainty, and to support people in finding the version of post-divorce life that feels authentic and workable for them.

Image credit: 'Visual representations of PTSD' https://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=413

Helpful Resources

LGBTQ+ Support

• Stonewall UK: Offers resources, legal advice, and education for LGBTQ+ individuals

• LGBT Foundation: Provides mental health, relationship, and domestic abuse support tailored to LGBTQ+ communities

• Galop: Support for LGBTQ+ people who are experiencing abuse or violence

• MindOut: LGBTQ+ mental health charity offering peer support and counselling

  
  

Neurodivergence Support

• FLANC – Family Law Advice for the Neurodivergent Community: Guides and support for neurodivergent individuals navigating family law

• Autistic UK: Advocacy by and for autistic people

• ADHD UK: Resources and peer support for adults with ADHD

• National Autistic Society: Help with relationships, communication, and navigating services

• PDA Society: Resources and guidance for those with a Pathological Demand Avoidance profile

  
  

Disability and Accessibility Support

• Scope UK – Disability equality charity offering advice and emotional support

• Disability Rights UK – Information on legal rights, accessibility, and advocacy

• Chronic Illness Inclusion Project – Advocacy led by people with chronic illness and energy-limiting conditions

• The Alliance for Inclusive Education – Campaigning for inclusive education and against ableist systems

If you're navigating a divorce or separation and want support that honours your whole self (including your identity, background, and neurotype) I’d be honoured to walk that path with you.

You don’t need to change who you are to be supported with care, skill, and respect.