Seeing Our Blind Spots: Why Awareness & Collaboration Matter in Helping Professions

“Perhaps you can help me locate some of my own blind spots.”

– Irvin Yalom, psychoanalyst

In The Gift of Therapy, Irvin D. Yalom discusses this phrase while highlighting the importance of therapists inviting feedback from their clients to uncover biases and improve the therapeutic relationship. Yalom reflects on how this phrase has become a valuable tool in his practice, using it to foster openness and mutual growth in therapy sessions.

As a Divorce and Separation Coach, I often return to this phrase as a powerful reminder that no matter our expertise, we all have blind spots - those areas where our biases, experiences, and limitations shape what we see and, crucially, what we miss. For professionals working with individuals in distress, whether directly in emotional support roles or indirectly in advisory capacities, recognising these blind spots isn’t just useful; it’s essential.

The Necessity of Self-Awareness in Support Roles

Blind spots are inevitable. They stem from our personal histories, training and assumptions about the world. In the context of divorce coaching, these blind spots might manifest in how we interpret a client’s emotional responses, the strategies we prioritise, or even the unconscious biases we hold regarding relationships, parenting, or resilience. If left unexamined, they can lead to misunderstandings, misplaced advice, or even harm.

This is why self-awareness is not just a personal virtue but a professional responsibility. It means actively seeking feedback and questioning our assumptions. A simple yet profound shift - asking a client, “Does this feel right for you?” or “What might I be missing?” - can open space for dialogue and prevent missteps.

Multi-Disciplinary Collaboration: Expanding Our Vision

One of the best ways to navigate our blind spots is through collaboration. Divorce, like many major life transitions, is complex and multifaceted. It intersects with legal matters, financial considerations, psychological well-being, parenting concerns, and, in some cases, issues of safety and risk. No single professional can (or should) be expected to address all these dimensions alone.

This is where multi-disciplinary collaboration becomes crucial. As a Divorce Coach, I work alongside lawyers, financial advisors, therapists, and domestic abuse specialists to ensure that my clients receive the most comprehensive support possible. I believe that knowing when to refer, when to consult, and when to step back is a sign of professional integrity, not limitation.

For example, if a client presents with signs of domestic abuse, I would refer them to a Domestic Abuse Adviser, particularly if there are high-risk indicators. My role is to provide emotional and practical coaching support, but safeguarding their immediate well-being takes precedence. Likewise, if a client is struggling deeply with past trauma, I would encourage them to engage with a trauma-informed qualified therapist. Understanding our scope of practice - and honouring the expertise of others - is not just ethical but also in the best interests of those we support.

Recognising Biases and Differences

Beyond professional limitations, blind spots can also emerge in the form of biases - both implicit and explicit. These might relate to cultural expectations around marriage and divorce, gender roles, financial independence, or even what constitutes a ‘successful’ post-divorce outcome.

Awareness of these biases is particularly important when working with diverse clients. A one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work in divorce coaching; what feels like an empowering fresh start for one person may feel like an unbearable loss of identity for another. Practicing cultural humility, staying open to different perspectives, and committing to ongoing learning are all ways to ensure that our personal viewpoints don’t unintentionally shape or limit the support we offer.

Conclusion: A Commitment to Growth

Yalom’s phrase reminds us that recognising our blind spots is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. It requires humility, curiosity, and a commitment to growth. In divorce coaching - and in any profession where we support individuals in vulnerable situations - the willingness to seek feedback, collaborate with others, and question our biases is not just beneficial; it’s necessary. By doing so, we don’t just become better professionals; we create safer, more effective, and more compassionate spaces for those who seek our help.

If you're going through a divorce and feeling unsure about what kind of support you need or who should be on your team, I’ve written a guide to help you navigate this process. Check out my article ‘Your Divorce Support Team: Who You Need and When to Ask for Help’ here.